Scientology and Me

Back in the early 1970's before I could speak English fluently, I was your typical nerd kid. President of the chess club, member of the science club and a total worshiper of the laws of physics.

I was left to live with my uncle under a student's visa while my parents returned to Argentina to legalize our stay in the U.S.

One day my uncle challenged the laws of physics.

Blasphemy! I cried out but he demonstrated a physics factor to me that was not writen in any science book.

The factor stated that "The particle of admiration is so strong, its absence alone permits persistence."

UH?

He said it was a different way of explaining an existing law that prevented two identical particles to occupy the same space at the same time.

He said, I had the power to make something stop existing simply by admiring it. Looking at it with all my being with attention to nothing else.

Without thinking about it, or anything else but simply observing it until it dissappeared.

He challenged me with my own science. Before I dismissed this new idea I should put it through experimentation and truly try to prove its validity before accepting its falsehood.

So I picked a small dark dot on a light wall and stared at it. Coached me for 45 minutes while he helped me keep my concentration on that spot while my eyes blurred and unfocoused. While my thougth s drifted and returned to the spot. Until, I could no longer see it. It was gone! I ran to the wall and touched the are where the darkness had been and it was truly gone.

That was a turning point in my life. When I realized that the masses of humans worshiping at the scientific alter were nothing more than cultists themselves. Science is a good way of explaining the set of rules that our universe follows. But if reality is as plyable as now quantum physics theorizes then the rules are really of our own making and not as absolute as thought of before.

My uncle had recently become a member of the Church of Scientology and I wanted to know what that was all about. For the next 4 years I dove full time into studying everythying i could learn about scientology; its philosophies and training routines. I became an auditor exploring the vastness of the human mind and learned about the immortal nature of the spirit. At the age of 14, I was the youngest Class IV auditor in the New York area. I was famous and celebrated. Then it all came crashing down in the summer of 1977. (The year Star Wars came out)

Someone made a statement that was misinterpreted as an error on my part. However there was no way of proving it wasn't my error because there were two audiors involved and the statemetn wasn't specific as to which auditor had made the error. I was blamed for it and having no recourse I was reassigned to an administrative position within the church. I became the Director of Inspections and Reports, a fancy name for the area of the church responsible for statistics, and ethics. Devastated because of my loss in stature, I grudginly accepted the postion not realizing that it would expose me to the kind of knowledge that woud be key in my future.

I was shipped to the Scientology Mecca or Flag in Clearwater, Florida where I studied about ethics and its procedures for nearly four months. Some of the responsibilities of my department was going to be the processing of acts which the church considered criminal and worthy of discipline. During my last month at Flag, and as part of my internship, I had to review and approve (or disapprove) the results of Comities of Evidence. These were trials done by their peers at different churches throughout the world and it was up to me to accept their findings and set the disciplines, some of which were expulsions. Talk about an overwhelming amount of responsibility. I felt completely unworthy of the task at hand in spite of my training. So I was sent to this office on the top floor. It was a huge space but the clutter around made it look small. I spent three weeks there weeks there talking to L.Ron Hubbard himself.

I learned things during those three weeks that changed my life completely and believe it or not, they continue to change my life every day. He revealed keys to me, most of which made no sense but I accepted because of who he was. These keys, or bits of information, begun to make sense to me years later as I experienced life itsel. It was knowledge I could use and it opened life to me as a learning experience. Thanks to those three weeks of my life I continue to learn from life, and everything that I see and read. Life continues to open for me each day is a new page in a book I never read before and with it lessons as important as those first ones.

When I returned to the Church of Scientology in New York, I became aware of many things in the organization. There were plots within plots and secrecies that would undermine the organization from within. knew directly from L.Ron that fees were necessary to place value for goods whose recipient couldn't possibly estimate value before being exposed to the goods. The concept of earning a lesson needed to exist to establish the ethics necessary to create learning. But the organization I was part of was charging for falsehoods or services that were not being delivered.

I know now that I didn't have the balls to confront them and put things back on course but at the time I thought I didn't have the power, so I separated myself from the Church of Scientology. It is my opinion that it has become something different than what L.Ron had intended because of the internal power struggles that came after his passing. It was still the most workable system to deliver the ability to know how to know, so I did nothing about it.

I pursued my renewed ability of knowing how to know and continued to to accumulate usable knowledge. I no longer give the knowledge freely because I have learned my lesson in ethics but mankind seems to be on its own way to figuring things out, on their own. Until it does, I'll be around adding my own contribution from behind the scenes.

The Secret